'The Comatose Beauty' @ RVT

It's Christmaaaaas! Are you celebrating with mulled wine at a Winter Wonderland, sipping on too much prosecco at your awkward work party, or cosying up on the sofa watching Christmas films? Well, this week my friends and I joined the celebrations by watching a Christmas Panto.

Yes, the pantomime season is upon us and London has quite a variety of performances on offer. Keeping it local, we purchased tickets for RVT's (The Royal Vauxhall Tavern) performance of 'The Comatose Beauty'. For those who are not familiar with Vauxhall as an area, it's most definitely the gay capital of London. Therefore this wasn't going to be a traditional pantomime, oh no this was a Christmas panto with a large helping of campness, drag, foul-mouthed language, filthy jokes and homosexual humour.

The venue:
Located under the bridge next to Vauxhall station, RVT is a well-known gay bar / club and cabaret venue. There is nothing up market about this place. However, the friendly and welcoming clientele it attracts makes up for the small and simple room with a bar.

Seating was available at a few tables, with sofas located around the back of the room, as well as on bar stools dotted around the club. The venue was not set up as a theatre so many people stood for the performance. If you like the sound of this panto, best to arrive at least half an hour before the curtain goes up to try and grab a seat.

 

The plot - a twist on 'Sleeping Beauty':
The best thing about pantomimes is that the directors are able to take a tale and make it their own. Most of us are familiar with the usually simple plots that are easily understood by children. Not this one. Crude and crass jokes make for over 18's ears only!

In short....Sleeping Beauty is protected by her Muslim mother until she turns the legal age of 18. On her 18th birthday, Belle is tricked into attending a fake birthday celebration by the evil witch, Myra Du Bois. At her party, a roller disco, she is drugged by 'party juice' and falls into a coma for 100 years. Her Prince Charming eventually arrives to wake her from her dreams, when Belle, Prince Charming and Helestar seek their revenge on Myra Du Bois. Curtain call.

The cast:
The cast was made up of 6 characters:

• Miss Mayoress of Vauxhall Town, Lorraine Bowen - a great MC. Her energetic piano playing and head banging singing was enough to make anyone laugh. The audience just loved her, especially when she had us singing Christmas carols in the interval! "Key change..."
• Sharia Law - the drag queen mother of Sleeping Beauty. Her high-pitched voice, creepy face (mask) and giant split up her skirt made for an excellent overbearing and protective mother.  
• Belle - a blonde afro, a glitzy leotard outfit and roller skates sums up RVT's Sleeping Beauty in drag. 
• Myra Du Bois - the evil witch who tottered around in her leopardprint  high heels, played the stereotypical baddie of the pantomime. When she wasn't trying to poison Belle, she would entertain the audience with some interesting magic tricks including a demonstration of how to swallow a very, very long balloon.....(Don't try this at home!)
• Miss Helestar - AKA the tranny with a fanny - playing the part of the fairy godmother, this lady certainly had a cracking pair of lungs. Belting out numerous songs, we were wowed by her vocal peformances.
• Prince Charming - a glorious vision in purple lycra shorts...

Overall rating:

In all honesty, this low-budget and amateur performance was brilliant!! There are four more shows this side of Christmas and if you're looking for something different to do in London, I would encourage you to book your tickets sharpish. However, don't go expecting a show with no hiccups. This panto is all about forgetting lines, missing cues, and telling the drunk in the audience to 'shut your mouth'. All of these things just add that little bit more fun to the evening.

Vauxhall's secret tea room

Despite the fact that I have been living in Vauxhall for the past 10 months, I have only just discovered The Tea House Theatre. Somewhat off that beaten track and unknown to the tourist, this quirky tea room is located on the edge of Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens and is open every day 8am - 6pm.

The interior is cosy with a variety of comfy sofas and individual fabric covered seats. Mis-matched wooden tables and chairs make up the dining area. There are shelves stacked with novels and towers of board games inviting customers to stay a while, rather than grab a quick drink and go. And with classical music playing in the background there's a very relaxed atmosphere.

Customers have a variety of teas to choose from and the the extensive menu takes some time to read. You can choose from traditional English breakfast tea to gunpowder tea, fruit teas to Chinese. When I visited with a friend, we chose the Sri Lankan Ceylon tea for two - a pot of tea for two costs £6.00, and it comes with its very own tea cosy!

If your making the most of it tuck into one of the incredible homemade cakes which are dotted around the tea rooms on tables rather than at a counter. Our slice of chocolate gateau was priced at £4.50 a slice. Hot food is also available for breakfast lunch and dinner.

The relaxed atmosphere at this tea room is perfect for a Sunday afternoon catch up with a friend. The Tea House Theatre also offers private hire, as well as hosting a film club and theatre performances. Click here to find out more.

A rainy day at Greenwich Market

Last weekend, a few of my girlfriends and I set out on a day trip to Greenwich Market (DLR). We experienced a rather rainy walk over Blackheath and through Greenwich Park, but the leafy view of Canary Wharf made up for the wet feet.

Luckily Greenwich Market is covered, so the weather didn't get in the way of us wondering around the market stalls. However, a winter warmer was necessary. We came across a popular stall serving spiced apple with brandy and mulled wine; just what we needed. There are a couple of permanent watering holes with seating areas, but these pubs charge higher prices than the rest of the stalls.

I managed to grab some Thai food for a fiver and the ladyboy who served me managed to cram a foil tray with a mixture of Pad Thai and Chilli Beef.

The variety of food at this market was impressive. It took us all a while to decide what we fancied for lunch. Stalls ranged from homemade sushi, Caribbean influenced dishes, Thai, Moroccan, as well as huge pans of paella. I don't think there was a stall missing!

We managed to pick up a few things from the bakery and cakes stands too. Some incredible salted caramel brownies, millionaire shortbread, cupcakes and the list goes on.

Aside from the food and drink stalls, that we spent most of our time around, we also came across a physic...Yes, tarot card readings and all that jazz! Some believe it, some think its codswallop. However, I have never had much of a judgement. So why not try out? The psychic, an old pensive lady dressed in non-gypsy clothes (as I was expecting, with a crystal ball) began with my tarot card reading.

She nailed it on the head with this one. I am a very sociable person who likes to celebrate...ALOT! Indeed, I can never say no to a party. The middle card, 'ten of cups', is my future card. In two years time I am to experience true happiness, love and emotional fulfilment. I am to be in an idyllic state of peace and harmony and will be delighting in my good fortune (Fingers crossed!).

She then moved on to assess my astrology. This was a little less positive. I am apparently too forgiving in my relationships. I was told to be careful in the future and to research who I forge romantic relationships with. She threatened, that if I did not, I would end up with an alcoholic or drug addict!!!! Not quite the Romeo I am looking for.

Finally, the palm reading. I don't remember too much of this, I was still in shock that my future hubby could end up being Pete Doherty or someone even worse, if that is at all possible. Despite this, I do remember that I have a strong life line, I will live abroad and I will either run my own company or reach the top of a corporation. So it wasn't all negative. £5 for about a 10 minute session wasn't bad. I still haven't made my mind up about what I believe.

Overall: In comparison to other great markets in London, Greenwich market is relatively small. A variety of stalls offer high quality products and as bonus there is a roof to keep you dry. The food stalls were a highlight for me, so if you are knocking around South East London next weekend, I encourage you to dip into Greenwich Market for a cheap yet delicious lunch.

Brunch

Saturday morning brunch is a perfect way to start your weekend. One of my close friends from school suggested we brunch at brew cafe on Northcote Road, Clapham. The closest station is Clapham Junction and the popular cafe is located just over five minutes walk down Northcote Road.

It is more than likely you will spot the queue before the cafe. brew does not take bookings, so most Saturday and Sunday mornings there is a 10-15 minute wait for a table. If you are a larger group expect a longer wait.

On entering the cafe it is a bit of a squish. Despite the very small area they have packed in as many tables as possible, so don't rock up expecting to have any privacy.

The brunch menu is like no other. We started with a freshly squeezed cranberry, pear and ginger juice. I absolutely love ginger so it was an easy decision to pick from the array of fresh juices and smoothies available.

As for the food, there is a huge choice ranging from savoury croissants to fruit, to sweet pancakes to eggs and bacon. A couple of things caught our eye but we both chose eggs on sourdough bread:
- Scrambled eggs with chorizo
- Poached eggs with pea puree and chorizo.





Staff were friendly and super efficient, especially for the very small and fast paced environment they have to work in.

Prices
Juices: £4.50
Scrambled eggs with chorizo: £9.50
Poached eggs with chorizo: £10.50

All breakfast dishes range for £3.00-10.50

The quality of the food at brew is outstanding. Lunch, dinner, cakes and pastries are also available and I will no doubt be back to sample more of the breakfast menu in the near future.

Are you powerful enough to control the rain?

This weekend me and my friend, Chris, woke especially early on Sunday morning and headed to the Random International: Rain Room. The exhibition, known as the The Curve, only opened a couple of weeks ago, so it was no surprise that there was a snaking queue when we arrived.

Having read some reviews on this rather different piece of art, where you essentially control the rain, I was really excited to check it out. Doubly excited that it was FREE!

Open daily 11am - 8pm, we arrived before the doors opened. However, despite the queue not actually looking that big, we were told we were standing in an approximately two and half hour queue! Why did we still hang around? I'm not too sure! Luckily, with great company we were able to keep each other entertained with some rather interesting conversations: "Let's play a 'google game'...how many miles is it to Spain?...how many fish are in the sea". It seemed apart from an iphone, we were missing some key essentials for surviving the long wait. So my advice to you, take water for hydration, food for the energy required for standing for two and half hours, a book or an ipod (we lacked earphones) for anti-social entertainment. Trust me you will need it, and there isn't much around apart from an overpriced Costa coffee kisok.

Two hours in and my legs and bum began to ache. Time for a sit down and a little rest. 20 minutes later, and eventually it was our turn; excitement kicked in.

We were taken into a very large, high ceiling airy black room. As you walk around the corner, you soon come across the huge piece of digital-based contemporary art. In short, it's raining indoors.

It's not a common feeling to open your front door and happily walk into the rain, without an umbrella, so it was a little surreal when I took my first step into the down pour feeling excited. As you walk under the rain, it responds to your movements and you stay bone dry. Like magic.

For what was a very long wait, you only get to walk around the 100 square meeting field for approximately 10 minutes. But despite this, it is definitely worth the visit. If you decide to visit the Rain Room at the Barbican Centre at the weekend, just be prepared for a wait...

The World is your Oyster

My good friend, Catherine Richards, has a love for oysters. So here is her guest blog entry on London Life...

Oysters. They’re slimy, putrid and look a bit like something you’d find in a dark corner of Diagon Alley. And yet they have been a favourite of food lovers and romantics throughout the centuries.

 

Until only recently, I had no intention of ever touching one. Certainly never paying good money to experience something with the consistency of an elephant’s bogey and the smell of something worse. 

 

However, the charms of a cheeky waiter and a subsequent bet forced my hand. I tried my first oyster a year ago, on a bed of cracked ice with a dash of Tabasco, and never looked back.

                                             

Despite being wholly converted into an oyster mega-fan, I can’t say I’ve ever experienced the supposed side effects (cue the naughty innuendos). So I’ve always wondered why the oyster has maintained such a timeless association with, to put it bluntly, sex.

 

The story goes that when Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, sprang forth with gusto from the sea on an oyster shell and promptly gave birth to Eros, the word ‘aphrodisiac’ was born. Roman emperors literally paid for oysters by their weight in gold. The debonair lover Casanova also started every evening meal by eating dozens of oysters (explains a lot).

 

Are you starting to feel a little intrigued now? I hope so. Because if I could howl a recommendation for this particular oyster haunt from the rooftops, I would.

 

The Maldon Oyster stall, of which I am now a regular, is an absolute gem. Serving up deliciously fresh oysters every Saturday morning in the Partridges Food Market at the Duke of York Square, Sloane Square, they really do brighten up my weekend. The friendly bunch that crack my oysters each week are proud of their reputation as suppliers of some of the best shellfish around. And boy do they deserve it. Friendly, affordable (one oyster for £1, six for £5) and ever fresh, try their oysters with a zing of shallot vinegar and you’ll be buzzing all day. Add a cheeky Bloody Mary to the mix and, hey presto, hangover cured.

 

Slimy and putrid? Who am I kidding. See you there Saturday…

 

Burning question - to chew or not to chew?

 

Top tip: Take time to chew. Unofficial evidence suggests that chewing helps to release the ‘romantic’ qualities of the oyster into the body quicker. You heard it here first…

Maggie Jones's hideaway restaurant

Maggie Jones's restaurant is an adorable eatery in the heart of Kensington. My reason for a visit was a friend's birthday. It was a perfect choice for a relaxed evening with close friends, and it is also a perfect hideaway if you are looking to take someone on a romantic date.

On entering the restaurant we were warmly welcomed, and taken up the somewhat uneven wooden staircase (be careful not to slip). Each scrubbed wooden table is complemented with a centre piece of a candle in a wine bottle.

Once seated we were able to take in our surroundings in the dim lit and homely atmospheric restaurant. There are lots of bits and bobs hanging from the walls and ceiling, giving the place a charming sense of character.

Most importantly, when everyone arrived, we moved onto the food. At a first glance, the dinner menu looks a little on the pricey side - starters £6-9, main courses £14-26, sides £5, puddings £5. However, there is a set menu created for groups of more than 10 people. The Maggie Jone's three course set menu is great value for money at £25.00 per person. Unlike with other restaurants, I was not disappointed with the reduced size of the full dinner menu

The hearty British food was delicious. I went rather traditional with my choices of Prawn Cocktail and Rump Steak with Bearnaise Sauce. Others went for Maggie's Spinach and Almond Tart,Rocket Salad, and Asparagus Vinaigrette to start, majority for Rump Steak with Pepper / Bearnaise sauce, or Roast Rump of Lamb with Rosemary and Garlic for main. A wonderful array of sides complemented our main course, including new potatoes,green beans, chips, cauliflower cheese, and garden peas with pancetta.

Pudding continued in style and size. There are no disappointing portion sizes here. Among the 10 of us, we chose a selection of Burnt Cream, Vanilla Ice Cream with Chocolate and Brandy Sauce, Lemon Sorbet, and Apple Crumble with Custard.

Excellent food, relaxed atmosphere, a restaurant with real character, I would definitely return to this restaurant. I am also looking forward to checking out the sister restaurant, Poule au Pot, in Orange Square.

Evans and Peel Detective Agency

A surreal experience where you are taken back to the 1920's prohibition. 'Old fashioneds', inventive cocktails, secret doorways, a dimly lit and cosy speakeasy bar - you will never experience any of this unless you make a visit to the Evans and Peel Detective Agency.

Do you have a case that needs solving? If not, your going to have to make one up if you want to drink in this joint.

Unrecognisable as a bar or restaurant from the outside, Evans and Peel Detective Agency is located on a side road off Earls Court Road.

By appointment only, hit the buzzer and you will be greeted by the gatekeeper. Once guided downstairs you find yourself in a small study-like room where you will be asked for your case; we used  a case based around identity theft. It's worth coming prepared and you should be willing to have some fun with the questions the gatekeeper throws at you. Once your case is accepted you are taken through a secret door disguised as a bookcase.

After an exciting and very different entrance we were welcomed into a dimly lit bar in an exposed brickwork basement.

It was time to sample the drinks menu - classic cocktails with a twist. I started with an inventive gin and tonic with earl grey and lavender, while others sampled 'old fashioneds' with honey and vanilla, brandy sour with pale ale, lemon and bitters and an earthy beetroot based cocktail. All cocktails were £9.50.

On the whole a unique experience and highly recommended.

Crazy Bear, crazy food, crazy girls, crazy loos...

 

Crazy Bear first came to London in 2004, and has two branches in the heart of the capital - Covent Garden and Fitzrovia. The private club is exclusively for members and their guests. 24 hour membership can be be arranged for your very first visit.

Unlike many members clubs, Crazy Bear prides itself on creating an eclectic atmosphere by welcoming members and their guests from diverse classes, incomes and professions.
Crazy Bear puts it very well: "it's probably not worth joining if you want conventionality or pretentiousness!"

10 of us girls booked in at the Fitzrovia branch for the Champagne Dinner - complimentary champagne throughout the meal with an eight plate tasting menu.

At first we were seated in the downstairs bar, which was bustling with people sipping on champers and cocktails. As a group of 10 girls, who were there for a catch up, we chose to remain in the downstairs bar for our starters. We didn't want to head up to the more reserved restaurant in case we disturbed the earlier sittings!

The modern Thai cuisine was outstanding. For starters we were served:

 

COTSWOLD CHICKEN SATAY with ard-jard and peanut dipping sauce

PRAWN HAR GAU DUMPLINGS

 

 

BARBECUED PORK BUNS

TUNA nigirizushi

After our starters we took our seats in the upstairs restaurant. Our main dishes included:

• CRISPY GRESSINGHAM DUCK with pomegranate and roasted cashews
• SEA BASS
• OSTRICH STIR-FRY with red curry paste and long beans
• BABY PAK CHOI
• served with STEAMED JASMINE RICE

To see what other dishes are available take a look at the á la carte menu.

As well as the excellent food, service, champers and atmosphere, when you visit the toilets....yes, the toilets....you will be in for a surprise! Firstly, if you are able to actually find the toilets WELL DONE! Secondly, if you are able to distinguish which are the ladies and which gents, you're impressing me. And thirdly, (I can't talk for the gents) but if you don't walk into a wall, a door or a mirror CONGRATULATIONS!

Overall, we had a brilliant evening at Crazy Bear. I would recommend you to visit the bar or restaurant, even if it is just to see the loos!

Balls Brothers' Mayfair Exchange

Mayfair Exchange - suits suits and more suits...but don't be put off or intimated!

The nearest tube is Bond Street, and the bar-restaurant is located on the corner of South Molton Street and Brook Street.

Mayfair Exchange is a great place for an after work drink. Happy Hour runs from 5-7pm every week day and all cocktails are half price (£8-11 original prices). After my first visit  I couldn't wait to return and continue to sample the cocktail menu.

 

Porn Star Martini - one of my favourite cocktails and the bar staff definitely delivered. Passion fruit based cocktail served with a shot of champers on the side.

 

Some Like It Hot - this cocktail was more of an experiment for our taste buds.

 

Cosmopolitan - a classic.

Berry Blush - highly recommended if you make a visit. A tall cocktail full of strong fruity crisp flavour with crushed ice, served with fresh fruit.

We previously booked a table for a £20 deal on Lobster, Steak and Chips. Delicious!

Despite the male dominated image this bar portrays, it should not be avoided solely for this reason. The staff were friendly, the atmosphere buzzing and the live piano music added that little something extra. I will definitely recommend this bar to my friends and others.

The Wolseley: afternoon tea with the family

After a brilliant day out with my Mum and Sister at Buckingham Palace, visiting the State Rooms, we looked forward to a spot of afternoon tea. Having read some brilliant reviews we decided to book a table at The Wolseley, in Mayfair. We arrived a little early for our booking, so treated ourselves to a Champagne Bellini in the cosy bar area.

The Wolseley is a café-restaurant which serves breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner. Booking is recommended - we booked a few weeks in advance - but some tables are available for walk-in customers.

Once seated, we had a moment to take in the impressive Grade II Listed Building. The café-restaurant is open plan creating a noisy yet brilliant atmosphere. There is also a private dining area upstairs which looked to seat around 15 people.

Having enjoyed our champagne bellinin’s, alot, we decided to continue in style. We ordered the Champagne Afternoon Tea (£32.00 per person). The traditional finger sandwiches, scones and a delicious selection of pastries sounded too good to miss out on.

Our Champagne Tea included:

• one glass of Pommery Brut Royal NV champagne
• a selection of teas
• an assortment of finger sandwiches
• two fruit scones with home made strawberry jam and clotted cream

For me, the sandwiches were a highlight. Along with the traditional cucumber, egg and cress, and salmon and cream cheese fillings, we were also served chicken and pesto, and a celery, cheese and chive filling on tomato bread. The sandwiches were so scrummy, we couldn't resist asking for more.

After our second plate of sandwiches we moved onto the warm fruit scones. You can never go wrong with scones, jam and cream.

Our selection of pastries and cakes were also delicious, but by this point we were struggling to fit anymore in! The selection included mini battenberg, coffee eclairs, cheesecake, chocolate and coffee torte with gold leaf, mini victoria sponge and a raspberry and custard tart.

Overall, The Wolseley is a great place for afternoon tea and I hope to return soon to sample their breakfast, lunch or dinner menu.

SUSHISAMBA

SUSHISAMBA first opened in New York City in 1999. This fantastic bar and restaurant has successfully expanded across the United States, continuing to offer a unique blend of Japanese, Brazilian and Peruvian cuisine, music and design. This summer SUSHISAMBA landed in London. In the heart of the city, the bar and restaurant can be found on the 39th floor of the Heron Tower (nearest tube is Liverpool Street, entrance on Bishopsgate).

Ideal for an after work bevy, take the glass lift on the outside of the building and get ready for a view of London I guarantee you have never seen before....

On arriving at the 39th floor, (beware of vertigo!) head straight to the bar and take a look at the drinks menu. It's not the most extensive menu but there are some delicious cocktails to choose from (£9.50-£12.00).

Once you have your drink in hand, embrace the views and take in the bustling atmosphere around you. There is also a couple of viewing platforms outside but beware these will be closed due to certain weather conditions and will get very busy on sunny days.

This bar and restaurant has only been open for a month, so expect a crowd. Prepare to do some elbow work to get a good photo opportunity at one of the windows!

Despite some disappointing reviews - not enough bar staff, poor cocktail selection, too busy - this bar is definitely worth the visit!!